Please explain to me the scientific nature of "The Whammy"

Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully of the X-Files

I don't want to look cute, I want to win!

Diane Raintree, playing Tri-ominoes

I love fireplaces.  I like the smell of the smoke...

It probably causes cancer.

Helen Pennell

(Larry Brenner's) "socks match his watch face.  Very impressive."

James Danaher

We came, we saw, we got spanked.

Andromeda's Seamus Harper

Sometimes high-tech problems deserve low-tech solutions.

Andromeda's Seamus Harper

The two beasts grab Mark, and drop him to his knees.  The Evil Emperor says "I want you to fix my Network."

Mark struggles with his captors, but can not wrestle free and snarls "And if I say I'm over-booked?"

The Evil Emperor casts a disparaging glance at Diane, who is tied up like an Egyptian priestess, about to be embalmed against her will.

"You die, she dies, everybody dies" the Emperor sighs.

"I've got a slot on Saturday at 3:30pm - What did you say the symptoms were?" Mark asks.

Adapted from "Heavy Metal - Den voiced by John Candy"

Can you:

Alter time?

Speed up the harvest?

Teleport people off planets?

If so, please contact:

Luke Skywalker

c/o O & B Lars

The Grunnermen Wastes

Tattooine

Star Wars, ala Starship Troopers

Aren't you one of those guys? One of those guys, you know, you send them out into the wilderness with a pocket knife and a Q-Tip and they build you a shopping mall...

6 Days and 7 Nights

If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!

God, I miss the screamin'...

Filch from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

 Certainty of death, small chance of success...  What are we waiting for?

Gimli, son of Gloin