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AARP on wheels
There is rough and tumble bar down in
Salinas that has an outside open air latrine. A tough looking Mexican guy
went out there one cold winter evening to use it. A minute later a tall,
burley Okie followed him out. They are standing next to each other urinating
when the Okie looks over and says, "pretty chilly". The Mexican guy keeps
looking down and says, "gracias".
I've been whipping around town like crazy
on my electric scooter. My manliness is taking kind of a hit by riding it.
I look like a love child of Peter Fonda and Stephen Hawking. My only hope is
that Ace would have approved of my extreme, "in your face" dork style. He
loved to do this sort of thing with head held high. Am I a chip off the old
block or trying to justify that I a have lost my dignity? A rhetorical
question only. Please....no answers!
I basically ride my scooter from the house
to work, errands at work, and then home. I have noticed that guys on real
motorcycles tend to 100% absolutely ignore me while I ride. Marc, my
brewmaster, rides motorcycles and told me that most riders tip their helmets
to one another in a high speed "hello". So I tried it but dammit, no
responses at all. How rude!
I spoke with cousin Colin on the phone and
he told me that where he lives there is no head tipping only a brief raising
up of the 3 left fingers, pinky, ring, and F.U. on the left hand. Yeow...that's
cool.
I tried that hand wave thingy with no
success.
It looks as though I'll have to ride in a
world without Camaraderie. A loner. A maverick.
There is a long mildly sloping hill that
leaves downtown Soquel and heads up towards my neighborhood. The other day I
made a right turn at the light and begin heading up the hill. My scooter
really bogs down in speed when climbing and this was no exception. I have
plenty of time to look around, smell the roses and enjoy being in the
now as they say.
Oh shit! On the sidewalk to my right
coming towards me was a little old lady riding one of those 3 wheeled
machines called "Li'l Rascals". Yes, the ones you've seen on TV commercials
where all the grandkids gleefully mob grandpa 'cause he's not such a dick
since he's gotten mobile.
Even before we get to the point where
preparation for a greeting begins, I see that her head is tilted, faced
locked, into the cheesiest "aren't we cute" smile. I smile back. She sees me
as a contemporary even though I'm not. She's wearing a shawl that she's
knitted. I haven't even started mine yet. For Christ's sake.......she's
probably got a Platinum AARP card. Mine's red plastic. I think it's bigger
than mine is too.
It happened again a short time ago only
that it was an old man in a powerized wheelchair.
I am soooo done with this. I need a real
motorcycle. Please help me convince Gail by backing me up on this however
you can. If you have an In with God like some people do, could ya
help a brother out??
Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
Charlie
© 2005 Charlie Meehan |