AARP on wheels


AARP on wheels

There is rough and tumble bar down in Salinas that has an outside open air latrine. A tough looking Mexican guy went out there one cold winter evening to use it. A minute later a tall, burley Okie followed him out. They are standing next to each other urinating when the Okie looks over and says, "pretty chilly". The Mexican guy keeps looking down and says, "gracias".
I've been whipping around town like crazy on my electric scooter. My manliness is taking kind of a hit by riding it.  I look like a love child of Peter Fonda and Stephen Hawking. My only hope is that Ace would have approved of my extreme, "in your face" dork style. He loved to do this sort of thing with head held high. Am I a chip off the old block or trying to justify that I a have lost my dignity? A rhetorical question only. answers!
I basically ride my scooter from the house to work, errands at work, and then home. I have noticed that guys on real motorcycles tend to 100% absolutely ignore me while I ride. Marc, my brewmaster, rides motorcycles and told me that most riders tip their helmets to one another in a high speed "hello". So I tried it but dammit, no responses at all. How rude!
I spoke with cousin Colin on the phone and he told me that where he lives there is no head tipping only a brief raising up of the 3 left fingers, pinky, ring, and F.U. on the left hand. Yeow...that's cool.
I tried that hand wave thingy with no success.
It looks as though I'll have to ride in a world without Camaraderie. A loner. A maverick.
There is a long mildly sloping hill that leaves downtown Soquel and heads up towards my neighborhood. The other day I made a right turn at the light and begin heading up the hill. My scooter really bogs down in speed when climbing and this was no exception. I have plenty of time to look around, smell the roses and enjoy being in the now as they say.
Oh shit! On the sidewalk to my right coming towards me was a little old lady riding one of those 3 wheeled machines called "Li'l Rascals". Yes, the ones you've seen on TV commercials where all the grandkids gleefully mob grandpa 'cause he's not such a dick since he's gotten mobile. 
Even before we get to the point where preparation for a greeting begins, I see that her head is tilted, faced locked, into the cheesiest "aren't we cute" smile. I smile back. She sees me as a contemporary even though I'm not. She's wearing a shawl that she's knitted. I haven't even started mine yet. For Christ's sake.......she's probably got a Platinum AARP card. Mine's red plastic. I think it's bigger than mine is too.
It happened again a short time ago only that it was an old man in a powerized wheelchair.
I am soooo done with this. I need a real motorcycle. Please help me convince Gail by backing me up on this however you can. If you have an In with God like some people do, could ya help a brother out??
Thank you for your attention.

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2005 Charlie Meehan